I presented my third and last piano piece this week, which I think has several good ideas and motives, but which are maybe not put together as well as they could be. This piece was meant to sound cold and icy.
Comments were:
-Try having fewer resolutions from D# to E in order to obscure the tonality even further than it already is, and to create more mystery.
-On the repeat of the initial theme, a few changes should be made to make it slightly different from the first time through.
-The second time through the theme could be a different number of measures so that it doesn't feel so perfectly even and proportionate.
-Try not to repeat notes as this feels slightly awkward. (I had already thought this but forgot to make the changes before I presented).
-Make my chords bigger and more rippling.
-My repeated thirds are too repetitious, and should be changed so that they aren't all the same.
-Because I have a pattern of leaps, they should all be approached in the same way to give some unity.
I found most of these comments helpful, however I kind of liked the sparse texture given by not having big chords, as I thought it gave a more 'icy' feeling.
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